Friendships and Romance- the two don't mix

I recently decided to pursue an intimate relationship with a semi-close friend of mine. We have known each other since October and during the span of time between then and now, have (or should I say had) developed a pretty closely knit friendship. Coincidentally, we work together (big mistake- I know that now) and he claimed he had deeper feelings for me since we met. Well at the time, I had just stopped dating someone and was really not into the whole, dating/relationship thing due to the way it ended with the last person.

Time progressed and my friend, who I will call Josh for the purpose of this blog, grew closer and closer. About a month or so ago is when I realized how strong my feelings actually were for him. I brought this to his attention, we discussed the situation and both decided to pursue and see where our relationship could go as more than friends.

About a week ago, out of nowhere, Josh drops the "I value our friendship, can we go back to being friends?" bomb on me...at work (nice right?). I told him no, I can't go backwards, it's not how I operate. I proceeded to explain to him that there is no ill feelings on my part (that was a lie), but we would be more like acquiantances rather than close buds like we used to be.

Its is awkward at work. Since that conversation took place, I have yet to acknowledge his prescence when we are working together. My behavior is not coming from spite, I do miss talking and spending time with him, but right now it is more than I can handle--having to see him everyday because we work together. I know I can't keep this up for long. Knowing Josh, he will eventually approach me about my radical change in behavior if it keeps on (considering he's already mentioned us no longer conversating and how it upsets him to mutual close friends of ours), but I really have no words for him. I have mixed feelings about this. On one hand, I feel completely justified and that Josh shouldn't expect for me to jump back into the way we were because it suits him best. On the other hand, I know keeping the disappointment and anger bottled up has the possibility of causing more damage to me in the long run. My advice to you all-- its not worth. Never date a friend/coworker.

I am having a somewhat of a difficult time realizing, or more so accepting, that my graduation is quickly approaching. I am set to end my journey here at UNCW in December and this mere fact has caused missed feelings of excitement and anxiety. Though I have known this day would come eventually and have prepared accordingly, I still find myself feeling lost as to what my next step is going to be and I am running out of time.

I have a few options, as I'm sure most people do upon graduating. I could stay in Wilmington; however, there aren't many available jobs here. Another option would be to move home and live with my mother. This cannot happen, once you're out why go back right? I could relocate to Atalanta where there are many job opprotunities available and start fresh, or move to California where my older sister is where they may possibly be a job lined up for me following graduation. I know the solution to my 'problem' seems simple--go where there's a guaranteed job offer, which is more than likely what I will do. Though I'm excited towards the thought of moving back to California, I would mean starting almost all over yet again. I had initially hoped I would be able to stay in Wilmington for a while, where I can further develop the great relationships I have made throughout these past four years, but I need to think realistically and responsibly about my future. So like I said before, I am stuck in dilemma kind of--stay or leave? I hope something comes to me send.

Steven Pinker and I. A. Richards

There is much that can be added to Pinker's overall idea of how humans interact with one another. throughou his video " The Stuff of Thought," Pinker describes human language and the methods in which we choose to communicate in three basic forms. Those three of which are: dominance, communality and reciprocity. The dominant relationships consists of a 'you do as I say' mentality often shared between bosses and their employees, teachers and students, or paretns and their children. Communality relationships reflect the ways in which friends 0r significant others interact with one another. It is a common ground where little is expected. Reciprocity is as Pinker stated to be, "a tit for tat exchange of services or goods." Each of these relationships have their own rules and methods of communicating which Pinker suggest keeps these three major relationships from intertwining. I.A. Richard's brings forth an idea in his 'Proposal for a New Rhetoric' by establishing that certain forms of language must be recognized as distinguishable forms of communication. " rhetoric's task is to distinguish the different sorts of ends, aims, for which we use language, to teach how to pursue them separetly and how to reconcile their diverse claims." - I.A. Richards.

Pinker admits that through these different modes of communication, certain messages and meanings can get lost within the innuendos and 'veiled' messages we give off when we communicate or interact wtih others. Pinker suggest the way for which the meannings and motives behind what we say or do can not get misinterpreted is through an establishment of "mutual knowledge". When mutual knowledge is created, then understanding is accomplished-- which can be either positive or negative. Richards believes that one of the means to which communicators can work towoards perventing "misunderstanding" when communicating are through use of metaphors. Pinke would associate this with indirect communication--which could have its perks. For instance, Pinker uses the example of man's attempt to initiate sex with a woman by asking her if she would like to come up and see his paintings (both knowing hidden innuendo is sex itself). By not being direct, there is a chance of causing a misunderstanding; however, it elivates some of the awkward tension that would have been blantantly apparent had he palinly asked to have sex with her. The down side to using methaphors or indirect language instead of establishing a mutual knowledge is the lack of a somewhat intimate understanding that can be shared. For example, Pinker uses people and the government to touch on this point. People are more inclined to demand change within a 'mob' or knowing there is an infinite number of people who agree (mutual knowledge) rather than alone, in fear that they may be the only one.

Thus being said, there really is no 'accurate' way to communicate with others. It all depends on to whom you are speaking with, the context of the subjet matter you are speaking of and what the meaning/ messge is behind what you are saying.

What my Superbowl Spot for Uncle Sam would be...

This is a difficult one to answer. Over the past few years, well..the few times I've watched the Supermodel, I have seen some pretty decent and some heart-felt commericals for the army. I do not really have an exact advertisement that comes to mind; however, the message behing my superbowl spot would be to remind Americans why we're still at war, but in a way that would gain additional support for those serving over seas and not to upset or anger the already irate. Strictly speaking for myself, I know I do not understand why we are still fighting a 'war' that in my opinion has no purpose and feels like it will never come to an end. I would like some reassurance that whatever we are doing over in Iraq and Afghanistan, that there is a great amount of good that is to come from this.

state of the union drinking game

The past two presidential elections had the highest percentage of young voters. With this being said, I do believe the government is constantly searching for ways to grasp and keep their attention. The State of the Union drinking games is one method designed to entice viewers, especially those in their twenties and thirties, to watch presidential speeches.

There is a postive and negative to this method. The obvious negative to political drinking games is that people are not hearing what the president is saying but more so just listening to play the game. However, I do not necessarily believe drinking games are a horrible attempt to capture viewer attention for such reasons as it brings a large grouping of people together to watch the State of the Union and whether they are listening for 'key words' for the purpose of the game, they will still be hearing the president speak on important issues. I know of many people, particularly those in my age group, who uninterested in politics and would not voluntarily watch programs such as this; however, with alcohol and a game thrown in the mix, it might prompt them to do otherwise.

Michael Jackson Black or White video

Of course as anyone would guess, I love this video! It is actually the very first Michael Jackson video I saw-- I was about three years old at the time, but I digress. What I love most about this song and the video is its message about love having no color lines. The album "Black or White" is on was released in '93, and though it was just a little over a decade ago, interracial relationships were still somewhat looked down upon. They had yet to become as widely accepted as they are in this day and age. Therefore, I admire Michael (of course) for putting this particualar message out there at a time when racial tenisons between certain groups of people in America were high.

Seeing as Michael has always promoted love and caring for others, what he sought to accomplish through this video was to annihilate the hate and humans can have for one another due to differences of skin color and culutral background. There are scenes within the video where he hops from cultrual setting to another and openly engages in the signature dances with the person/people of that particular background. This represents Michael's idea that though we may look and behave differently according to our cultural norms, at the end of the day we are all people. When this understanding is established, a mutual respect is achieved, which can turn to love and appreciation from what once was unfamiliar.

See how wonderful this man is, I mean was :(
I love you always and forever MJ! <3